How to Stay Grounded During Unexpected Life Changes: From Panic to Purpose
You never see it coming. One moment, everything feels familiar — you know the steps, you trust the path. And then, out of nowhere, life yanks the rug out from under you. Maybe it’s a sudden layoff, a health scare, or a family situation that demands all your attention. Whatever it is, you find yourself standing at the edge of a map you didn’t plan for, heart racing, mind spinning.
I’ve been in this spot a few times, most notably only a few years ago. I was working remotely for a job I’d been at several years. I enjoyed the work and the people, but one day that was taken away. I received an impromptu request to hop on a video call with my manager. When I joined, she wasn’t alone. Her boss and HR were there to deliver the news I was part of a layoff. I didn’t see it coming. I felt (and continue to reference the experience) like I got suddenly hit upside the head with a 2 x 4. It was that shocking and unexpected. Now what??
This moment, as disorienting as it feels, holds a hidden opportunity: the chance to pause, breathe, and choose a calm, intentional way forward. Today, I want to share a few simple techniques that can help you steady yourself when life pivots hard — and how to turn that initial chaos into a new kind of clarity.
Name It to Tame It — Understanding the Panic Response
When something unexpected and stressful happens, our brain often flips into survival mode — the fight-flight-freeze response. This built-in system helped our ancestors survive real physical threats. It floods the body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, getting us ready to fight, flee, or freeze in place.
That same system now kicks in when our inbox explodes or we get blindsided by a sudden job loss.
In modern life, though, the "threats" we face are usually not lions or falling trees — they're job losses, family emergencies, or sudden health changes. However, our nervous system reacts the same way, even if the danger isn't physical. That racing heart, tight chest, the urge to either lash out or completely shut down — it's all part of a system trying to protect you.
It's important to remember that feeling disoriented or panicked in those moments isn't a sign of failure or weakness. It's your biology doing exactly what it was built to do. The key is learning how to ride that wave with awareness, rather than getting swept away by it.
Here are practical tips to deal with this moment and respond to it:
Pause and Label
Pause and label your feelings (e.g., “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m scared. I’m sad.”). This simple technique is closely related to the mindfulness practice of "noting," where we gently acknowledge thoughts or emotions as they arise without getting swept away by them.
Why this works: Naming emotions lowers their intensity and helps you step back from the swirl of reaction. It gives your brain a moment to shift from survival mode into a more reflective, intentional mindset.
Create a Calm Anchor
There's a practice for managing anxiety where you respond with a go-to ritual that helps ground you and bring you back to a calmer state. You can think of it as your calm anchor, which you throw overboard when the seas get rocky to help you stay calm. This small ritual or physical practice is a reminder that you’re safe right now.
Here are 3 examples you can try:
Breathing exercises (e.g., 4-7-8 breathing - breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 7, breathe out for 8)
A simple mantra ("I can navigate this. One step at a time.")
Sensory grounding uses your senses to center you. This quick technique walks you through every sense and helps your brain downshift:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
List:5 things you can see
4 things you can feel
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
Break the Big Unknown into Manageable Pieces
Panic loves vagueness — it thrives in the unknown, feeding off fuzzy what-ifs and spiraling thoughts that don’t have clear edges. The less defined something feels, the more space anxiety has to stretch out and take over. But calm? Calm grows in clarity. When you name what’s really going on, even if it’s messy or uncomfortable, you start to shrink the fear. Clarity gives your brain something solid to work with — a focus point, a sense of direction, maybe even a plan. It doesn’t mean things are easy, but it means they’re not so overwhelming. Funny how simply naming the fear can start to take its power away.
Techniques to try:
List What You Know vs. What You’re Assuming
(Fact: I lost my job. Assumption: I’ll never find another one.)Set Micro-Goals: Tiny, doable next steps (e.g., update résumé, call a friend).
Identify Controllables vs. Uncontrollables
Sometimes the overwhelm comes from feeling like everything is out of our hands. One way to bring some grounding back is to sort the situation into two lists: what you can influence, and what you can’t.
Examples of controllables:
Updating your résumé or LinkedIn profile
Reaching out to a mentor or coach
Setting a daily routine to bring structure
Practicing calming techniques like breathwork or journaling
Examples of uncontrollables:
The outcome of a job interview
What others think or say about your situation
The timing of external decisions (like layoffs, medical test results, etc.)
This practice doesn’t magically fix the situation, but it helps you focus your energy on where you can actually make a difference — and that’s empowering.
Reframe the Story You're Telling Yourself
One helpful approach is to introduce gentle reframing — not in a toxic-positivity way, but as a softer, more spacious way of looking at things. For example, instead of thinking, “This is the end,” you might shift to something like, “This is a chapter change I didn’t expect — but it’s not the whole story.” That small shift doesn’t erase the pain or uncertainty, but it makes room for possibility. It reminds you that even hard moments are just part of a longer unfolding, not the final page.
Tips:
Practice self-compassion.
View the pivot as an invitation to curiosity, not a verdict on your worth.
Remember: "Every ending carries the seed of a new beginning."
Build Your Support System
An unexpected pivot that raises your anxiety and creates fear can make you feel alone. The truth is, you probably have a support system available.
Suggestions:
Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, coach, or community.
If needed, seek professional help to navigate intense transitions (e.g., therapy, coaching).
Remember: Connection calms the nervous system.
Calm Is a Choice We Practice
We can't always control the pivots life sends our way, but we can control how we meet the moment. Panic may knock on the door (or bust it down!) — but calm thinking, clear steps, and compassionate support can help you walk through it with your head held high.
You don't have to have it all figured out today. One breath. One choice. One small step at a time.
And if you’re finding your way through an unexpected change right now, know this: You don’t have to do it alone. If you’d like a steady companion on your path, I'm here.
