The Lie of the Golden Years: Time to Rebrand Retirement
Photo by Matt Bennett on Unsplash
The fantasy we were sold
You know the image. A couple walks hand-in-hand on a beach somewhere warm, smiling like all the hard parts are behind them. Retirement, we’re told, is the prize at the end of the race. The golden years. Endless free time. Deserved rest.
But for many, the reality is quieter. Sometimes lonelier. Less like arrival, more like disorientation.
What happens when the job title disappears, the phone stops ringing, and the days lose their shape?
What if you miss being needed?
It’s not that retirement is bad — it’s that we’ve been sold a version of it that doesn’t match real life.
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Losing the role, finding yourself
Work isn’t just work. Over time, it becomes part of how we introduce ourselves, how we contribute, how we structure our days. Even if we were counting down to retirement, the moment it arrives can feel more unsettling than liberating.
One day you’re the person people rely on — to make decisions, fix problems, give advice.
The next, you’re just… free.
But free from what, exactly?
The loss isn’t just about income or structure. It’s about identity.
🧭 Coaching Reflection: What roles gave you the greatest sense of meaning — beyond the paycheck?
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Loneliness isn’t a surprise — it’s a design flaw
A lot of people feel blindsided by how isolating retirement can be. But when you look closer, it’s no surprise.
Modern life doesn’t make it easy to stay connected. Adult children are busy. Friends move. Colleagues fade from view. And if you haven’t built community outside of work, the silence can be deafening.
It’s not a personal failure. It’s a design flaw.
“We tie our value to productivity. Then we pull the plug, without a replacement system in place.”
Loneliness isn’t just emotional; it’s physical. Studies show it can be as harmful as smoking or obesity. Yet we rarely plan for connection — or talk about it.
🧭 Coaching Reflection: Where do you feel most connected right now? What relationships are calling for reconnection or renewal?
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We don’t need more time — we need more meaning
One of the biggest myths of retirement is that it gives you more time.
Yes, the calendar opens up. But time without purpose is just space waiting to be filled.
You can fill it with hobbies — gardening, travel, learning Spanish on Duolingo. But eventually, novelty wears off. What we crave isn’t just activity. It’s meaning. Belonging. Impact.
That doesn’t mean going back to the grind. It means finding something — or someone — worth showing up for.
🧭 Coaching Prompt: What makes a day feel meaningful for you? What are you excited to contribute now, on your own terms?
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This isn’t retirement — it’s a rewrite
Maybe it’s time to stop calling it “retirement.” That word sounds like stepping back, opting out, fading away.
What if this phase of life isn’t an ending, but a redesign?
More and more professionals are using this chapter to explore what was once put aside: mentoring, volunteering, building businesses, picking up paintbrushes, or simply being more present.
There’s a steadiness that comes with experience, and a wealth of wisdom from experiences lived.
But it only gets shared if we stay connected and curious.
🧭 Coaching Prompt: What’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but told yourself you were too busy (or too late) to pursue?
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A return, not a retreat
What if we stopped asking, “What do you do now that you’re retired?”And started asking, “What are you creating next?”
This phase — whatever you call it — isn’t about winding down.
It’s about coming home to yourself.
Shedding the costumes.
Getting clear about what actually matters.
That’s not a retreat.
That’s a return.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts — or what you’re creating next. Let’s change the story of retirement, together.
